Monday, 6 December 2010

Status: Complicated or Open- Relationship????

It was about the last week of December '09, I was online on one of the social networking sites and one of my friend's status messages caught my eye. It said, “Dear God, This year my resolution is to have a sustained, quantitative and qualitative relationship, not more that 91 days and I wish to retain my status as 'Its Complicated". Now you may think, it's an absurd status to mention, but the truth is that we live in a world, where we are known far and well by the status we portray. It so happens that these are just not mere words. Most of the social networking sites design their relationship options in ways like," Its Complicated", "Its open relationship" and the usual one's like, "Engaged", "Committed" etc. This has become a rather important issue here-mentioning one's relationship status. I'm quite sure 9 out of 10 people, check the relationship status first, when they receive or browse a friend request or list. It's funny, why do we do this!

In the age of "Cheek to Cheek Kiss", relationships have also taken the same place. We brush up with this one person, we try to hang up with them, when we think it’s not’ convenient'(I love to detest this word), we move on. One of the famous brands has its tag line, as 'move on man'. Oh! Yes, they say, if you want to know the pulse of the youth, just watch the ads. They speak it all. So coming back to the 'relationship' word which is a world in itself, mean so different to each one of us. The reason being, we are social animals and we are never content with what and whom we have! As simple as that!

Asked my friend who was in 5 relationships, out of which she broke up with 3 guys, had a 'somewhat enjoyable live-in relationship' and the guy broke up with her in the next 2 relationships. Asked her the reason behind this adventurous life, her answer to me was, "I can't imagine of staying with a guy for too long, I need change and I love change". After a he get's boring and his deed gets boring and begins taking ownership of me and my things and I can't take that! Well, that's when I "switch". I said in my head." You SWITCH! What's this and turn on and off game?" Apparently yes, there are people who will swear that some of them get into a relationship, just for all the turn on's and once when the flame dies, it's a turn off.
Do I sound very unrealistic and cold when I mention stuff like this? But, this is exactly the most of us are turning out to live. I recall a certain movie scene where partners celebrate their break up. So, the friends go around thinking what to wish them. "Happy Break Up or All the Best". The question here is not “why is this happening”; the question is 'for what' this is happening. We love to live and live to love, so much so that our life is slowly turning out to be a collection of various paraphernalia's, even our 'loved ones' are being accommodated amongst commodities.
The element of love boils down to how much we can give and how much we more we can take from the other, someone quoted. But, I bet they would not have ever though that this degree would vary in terms of monetary and other benefits when some people 'in love' commit to even before they get married. So much for love, is it for the cause of love or money, I wonder. But again, why have we turned out to be like this? It's the moment of truth, let's accept, our pride, independence, financial stability have all become the equivalent or i must say have begun complementing us.
There are people who say, I would rather be in a live-in relationship, experience and experiment, then decide. It's a risk man! Yes, plunging into a relationship is a risk, but there is only one thing I can think of when it comes to live-in relationship that one wants to experience (You know what exactly, I am talking about!). It's not all that, you may argue, but common, let's face facts that is the truth. And please, don't tell me the girl gets ditched here. I somehow feel sad for the guy’s. Every time there is a break up-the blame arrow inevitably points out at the men. Common, have a heart. 'Coz even they too have a heart! Or do they not!
Now the heart of the relationship is the heart itself. We try hard not to give in, but alas! We do at last. A tricky thing I must say, but wonder how does this heart get to love multiple people at the same time upholding multiple relationships. This is where, I begin to ponder, how an affair comes into scene? Or how is anyone and everyone ok with two wives or two husbands (never heard of, believe me, this exists, believe me!).This too is a complicated relationship. I mean, how does a person, have the same kind of relationship with two people? That, my friend, is true talent or like they say multi-loving and loving. Quite a task! Imagine the risk that person takes. Live a life where the other person is not aware of the other. It's complicated or a piece of cake, I'm not sure!

If I have to think of the way God created man, how must have he woven the web of relationships. It really is a web. Take a look around you, you share relationships with your family, friends and professional colleagues and yet, we always end up into a knot when it comes to people whom we love the most-our girl, our guy, husband or wife. In relationship with the above, why do we hate to love and love to hate them? Guess, we can never get the right answer to this question.

In today's generation, love, relationships can be brought down to three facts- a) money b) status c) relationship status. The first thing that comes across your mind even before you date the other is how cool is he/she? And How much can they spend? It's the fact. Some of us revel on it! Yes, you need the money and the amount of cool and hot factor, to be recognised. Getting a hot chick, as a girlfriend, the hotter she looks, the more famous you become or all that matters is your surname and when egos hit-it becomes a dirty breaking news. And who exactly wants to know it-there are a load of them.

It's surprising how the society accepts and rejects such social being. I always am appalled by the flexibility of it. On one side they say no to inter caste relationships and on the other hand they are perfectly ok about it. It's such confusion, that I myself think, that the whole society is incoherent. There are famous people and they are people who become famous through the relationships, they tag along.
The way the other’s love and live may not matter to you. But, guess what, it inevitably will influence you. Coz, we all live and dwell in a society, where we meet and match. We look at people and so will our kid’s, so don’t really blame the generation, the way they handle complicated relationships. They watch the society and just emulate them (Freud would have agreed to me, Hail Freud). Take a peep into yourself and clearly know what ‘relationship status’ you are with your heart and mind-is it open or complicated.